Controlling Relationships – Know The Signs To Protect Yourself
Do you know the signs of controlling relationships? A controlling relationship doesn’t come out of thin air. Talk to anyone who has been in one and they will tell you that there were signs early on in the relationship that pointed towards trouble coming but they didn’t listen to them. Many times someone in this position turns these signs into a type of flattery, not thinking of the consequences.
Signs of controlling relationships can be slight to begin with. Once the relationship starts to become more long-term, the controlling behavior gets more intense and the flattery that was felt at one time is completely gone. This can include always asking who you are talking to on the phone, just popping up without notice, dictating the clothing you should wear, or even asking you to act a certain way. These are basic signs of controlling relationships. On the other hand, there is always the chance that your new mate may really just want to pop in to surprise you to say hello because he missed you or that he really does love you that one certain sweater. Determining which way the relationship is heading is a big decision. Is it headed in a healthy wonderful way? Or is it headed for disaster?
If you believe that your relationship is showing signs of a controlling relationship, think of it this way; If you say something to him about his behavior being overly controlling, does he flip out? If he honestly wasn’t meaning to control you, the valid emotions would normally be offering an apology or maybe feeling hurt that you feel that way about how he has been acting. However, someone who is overly possessive and controlling would be very defensive or try to turn it around and make you feel guilt for broaching the subject. This is a huge warning sign of a controlling relationship. At this stage, your new boyfriend is laying the foundation so that you do not broach the subject in the future so that an argument is not brought up by you calling him on his wrongful behavior.
If you are aware of the signs of a healthy relationship, it is a lot easier to understand and acknowledge signs of controlling relationships. If you are not sure you will be able to notice the signs right off the bat, take it slow and don’t jump head first into a full on relationship without knowing what you are getting into. Get to know them first.
Many controlling relationships get deep quickly. If you feel that the relationship is moving way too fast and getting way too intense too quick, slow it down. You should take a few steps back and examine the relationship fully. Your boyfriend will get very upset if he is trying to control everything. He will not want to slow down and will try to delve deeper without listening to your concerns.
If you find yourself in this predicament, you will have to examine the situation fully and find out if you feel you can end the relationship safely. If you do not believe you can and you worry about your safety, try talking to a cop or a counselor. If you don’t feel like talking to a stranger, you can try to talk to someone in your family. Once you do end the relationship, never agree to meet with me afterwards. If you have to return personal stuff that was left with you, make sure it is done in a public place and it would be best if you don’t go alone.
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